Kinship

1. For this assignment/experiment I interviewed my mother. She was born in Los Angeles, California, and to a middle class caucasian family with a mixed background (French, French Canadian, Belgian, and additional ethnic influences scattered within). She attended Catholic school at St. Genevieve in San Fernando Valley. She married James Ghilardi at the age of 18.

2. The interview was comfortable. Since the subject was my own mother, who I am very close to, there were no awkward moments or any questions that she was uncomfortable answering.  She made it clear that she knew much more history about her family, but that this was all that she had firmly committed to memory-the rest was written down on documentation she had stored. She asked if I wanted her to take it out, and for the purposes outlined in this assignment, I decided against it. Her relation to me absolutely assisted in expanding the thoroughness of this interview. If I were interviewing someone not related directly (or indirectly), I can imagine that the answers become more shrouded, and the subject may leave out details regarding relationship status between fallen-out family members, or maybe even their existence altogether.

3. The family has remained very close and has no grudges or contempt that has caused movement or uninclusion. All of her siblings still communicate with each other on a regular basis, and although they have scattered across the USA, they still visit each other frequently. There doesn't seem to be an influence on either maternal or paternal lines, both are reproducing regularly with the occasional exception. There is a trend toward larger families-if they have kids, they usually have 4+.  The older generations of my family have excellent relationships with the younger generations, with regular reunions and holiday celebrations that often include our extended and geographically separated family members.  There are no ethnic differences that have a social impact on relationships. However, there are some social differences, such as unmarried females and homosexual tendencies in a few relatives.  These topics have, and continue to be ideas that are alternately spoken about as concern areas or swept under the rug, only to be included in one on one hushed conversation between family members.  When it all comes down to it, my mom believes (as do I) that our family is extremely supportive of each other. Although they may not always agree with an individual's decision, they continue to include and even support each individual through the decisions they make, regardless.

4. I know only three generations of each side of my family, starting from my parents and working backwards.  My parents and their siblings, my grandparents and their siblings, and my great-grandparents and not quite all of their siblings.

I do socialize equally with both sides, both are still local for the most part, and the branches that have moved away still keep in touch.

My grandparents on both sides are always respected, yet show their support for their family members independently of their thoughts on the respective decision. Of course, they share their opinions on the subject, but their opinion doesn't dictate whether they will help or provide support or not.  With that said, and noting that both of my grandfathers are deceased, my grandmothers are very esteemed on both sides of my family.  All of their children and grandchildren aim to please them, because we feel that they have taken very good care of us, in raising us and supporting us through hard and happy times alike.

Family members who are related by marriage are not treated any differently. My mother's family has several adopted children, or children that we inherited through marriage, in addition to our blood relatives. These expansions are gladly welcomed.  My dad's family is Mexican and Italian, primarily. Food usually brings us together, and the decibel level in one of our gatherings could probably pop the eardrum of anyone who didn't grow up in a similar environment.  But we are loud, and happy, and we love to be so.

As the firstborn child to my parents, I feel that there are differences in treatment and attitude by gender. My brother is 14 months younger than I, and yet he was allowed to stay out later (or indefinitely, as long as he communicated) before I was. Not to be misunderstood-when I was allowed to stay out, he was allowed, yet he was younger, no...  He was allowed to stay out and I was not and I was older. He was 13 and allowed to stay at friends houses and I was 15 and not allowed to do so. Granted, he was (at the time) a sycophantic suck-up...while I was a rebellious wild child, but can you blame me under such conditions? (I know, the answer is yes, but everyone knows that hindsight is 20/20)  But in our family, in general there is a different level of accountability and treatment that runs along the gender lines.

I have learned that my family is fortunate to still maintain all of its immediate ties-so many families are broken, or scattered, beyond the level of my family.  Also, much of my generation is only related by marriage, and divorce is becoming a trend.